Thinking Of You
by Lily-Starbuck
Summary: Song fic. Enjoy. I own nothing. I had two pairings in mind when I wrote it, I've left one of them up to the reader. I wonder if they'll match up with me lol


New song fic from me. Written because my Media player was on shuffle and KC wouldn't leave me alone til I wrote it... I own nothing as always. Song is 'Thinking of You' by Katy Perry

_Comparisons are easily done  
Once you've had a taste of perfection  
Like an apple hanging from a tree  
I picked the ripest one I still got the seed_

She knew it was wrong, comparing men that were so blatantly different. Yet no matter how often she told her head that, her heart reminded her that argument was futile. She loved – and had loved, she was often forced to remind herself – both men so completely that it was inevitable there would be some overlap.

_You said move on, where do I go?  
I guess second best is all I will know_

The unspoken "It's over" that passed between them had cut her to the quick. No apologies. No real ending; it seemed to make a mockery of what had passed between them. The years they'd spent with each other, the endless moments shared that built up, amounted to a lifetime of memories to be locked in a vault, never to be opened and reminisced over.  
Second best. Second place. It seemed that was destined to be her lot in life.

_Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you  
Thinking of you  
What you would do if you were the one who was spending the night  
Oh I wish that I was looking into your eyes_

_You're like an Indian summer in the middle of winter  
Like a hard candy with a surprise centre  
How do I get better once I've had the best  
You said there's tonnes of fish in the water so the waters I will test.  
_  
Slowly, very slowly it seemed, she began to rebuild her shattered ego; her confidence and pride that had been smashed to smithereens by his departure. Her replacement had come as no great shock; Ray Charles could have seen it coming, but the bitterness remained thinly veiled under the friendly facade.

Then he appeared. Fresh, exciting; someone who had lurked in the background but had never really made his presence known. Things progressed slowly but surely, and all of a sudden it seemed he was a somewhat permanent fixture in her life.  
He saved her, physically and emotionally, from being pushed over the brink by the never ending stream of atrocities that seemed to file across her desk on a daily basis.  
He became part of the reason she hauled her tired body out of bed in the morning; the promise of his warm smile and tender embrace outweighed whatever reasons she might have produced to remain cocooned in the blissful world of slumber.  
And at night, after the shift was done, he was there to hold her, wrap her securely in his arms and whisper promises that it was all going to be better in the morning.

But no matter how wonderful he was, how he understood her with regard to every aspect of her life, how much he loved and respected her, there was always a ghost lurking over his shoulder; he would always be compared to the unseen force that remained, even though the physical presence had long since disappeared.

_He kissed my lips, I taste your mouth  
He pulled me in, I was disgusted with myself._

_Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you  
Thinking of you  
What you would do if you were the one who was spending the night  
Oh I wish that I was looking into_

_You're the best, and yes I do regret  
How I let myself let you go  
Now the lesson's learned, I touched you I was burned  
But I think you should know_

She couldn't deny that her time spent with him had been wonderful; he'd made her feel things she had only ever read about in fairy tales when she was little, or those trashy romance novels she would never admit to owning. But, unlike the endings of those tales and novels, theirs had been far from happy. Their romance had culminated in his departure and her being left to pick up the pieces of her broken soul. Somehow it didn't seem fair that she compared the new man in her life to the old one, the one who would always - no matter how hard she tried to forget – possess a part of her.

_Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you  
Thinking of you  
Oh what you would do if you were the one who was spending the night  
Oh I wish that I was looking into your_

_Your eyes, looking into your eyes  
Looking into your eyes  
Why won't you walk through  
And burst in the door and take me away  
Oh, no more mistakes  
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay  
Stay_

She glanced back at the sleeping man in her bed, the one who just a few shot hours before she had vowed to spend the rest of her life with and smiled, before turning her gaze on the starless Las Vegas night sky laid out before her, the words leaving her mouth on a quiet breath of air.

"I'm happy now Gil. It's over. I don't need you anymore."

Let me know what you think  
Lily  
-x-


End file.
